The Flying Hammerlock Video Review #18: Falls Count Anywhere

 

This review is dedicated to the memory of Joanie "Chyna" Laurer.  R.I.P. 

 

 Falls Count Anywhere: Dude Love vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley (w/Chyna), WWF RAW Is War,  Madison Square Garden New York City, NY, September 22, 1997.
 

Historical background: Helmsley d. Mankind in the tournament final at WWF King of the Ring 1997 on June 8th and they have been feuding ever since.  This was the first ever Raw at MSG.
 

We start with something great, as Dude Love appears on the Titantron.
 

DL: "Owww, have mercy! Hunter and especially your finer Chyna, I know what you must be thinking. 'Dude, what are you doing back here, when you should be out there kicking some heavy duty booty all over the Garden?' Hunter my man, I do believe it's time we had a little rap, oh-ho. Because you see, falls count anywhere ain't exactly my bag baby. The pinfalls in the hot dog stands, the pinfalls in the street, the chairs, the tables, it's not exactly a Love thing. But I know somebody, baby, whose bag it indeed is. He's my man, he's my main man, you might even say, well daddy, he's a Kind man. A kooky type of cat, let's bring him out right now. (Mankind's music, titled "Ode to Freud" on WWF the Music Volume 2 and "Schizophrenic" on WWE Anthology, plays as Mankind walks into the picture.) Mankind, my main mandible- up high big man, down low, owww you're too slow. Mankind, good to have you at the Love Shack."

MK: "Hey Dude. Thanks for having me here." 

DL: "The pleasure's all mine."

MK: "You really are eye candy for the chicks, Dude."

DL: "That much I know, Daddy. But you gotta tell me about this wacky match- Falls count anywhere.

MK: "Dude, as much as I've dreamed of destroying Hunter Hearst Helmsley..." 

DL: "I know you have."

MK: "As many horrible things as I'd like to do to him..."

DL: "I know you can.."

MK: "I know someone who dreams about it even more."

DL: "Who is it, Manny?"

MK: "Someone who is willing to do even worse things than I am."

DL: "Oh no, are you thinking what I think you're thinking?"

MK: "I think I am thinking what you think I think you're thinking."

DL: "Can you bring him out, Manny? Where is he?"

MK: "CACTUS JACK...IS BACK!"

DL: "Somebody spank me, I thought he was dead."

(Cactus walks into the picture carrying a garbage can as his music starts)
 

MK: "He's alive."
 

CJ:" Hunter, it may be the darkest day of your life, but this is Madison Square Garden, and Mrs. Foley's little boy is finally home! Bang Bang!"
 

MK: "Have a nice day!"
 

DL: "Owww have mercy!"
 

Cactus throws some plunder out from behind the curtain and hits HHH right in the head with a garbage can, then empties out the contents. Cactus then hits HHH over the head again with the garbage can.   Cactus tosses the garbage can in the ring and grabs HHH by the head.   Cactus smacks HHH's head into the steps as the crowd chants "ECW! ECW! ECW!"  Cactus follows with a "Bang! Bang!"   Cactus pulls up the protective mats as HHH staggers around trying to get away.   Cactus rakes HHH's back and punches his head.   Cactus grabs HHH by the hair and drags him over to the exposed floor and hits a neckbreaker.   Cactus covers for 2.   Cactus rolls HHH into the ring and stomps him.   Cactus brings HHH to his feet and headbutts him.   Cactus runs at HHH, who is standing by the ropes, and hits the Cactus Clothesline over the ropes to the floor and follows with another "Bang! Bang!"  HHH starts running away again and Cactus follows but gets hit by Chyna.   Chyna then clotheslines Cactus over the guardrail into the crowd.   HHH climbs over the guardrail and punches Cactus, who has made it back to his feet.   HHH punches Cactus a few times and they go through the curtain into the locker room area.    The camera follows and sees HHH get a 2 count.   HHH slams Cactus and covers for a 2 count.   HHH and the referee walk back into the arena and HHH questions the count.   HHH heads back to the curtain and Cactus comes out with a fire extinguisher, which he sprays at HHH.  Cactus grabs HHH and whips him into the guardrail.   Cactus walks over to HHH and starts biting his head!  The guardrail then collapses to the floor!  Cactus rolls HHH into the ring and follows, then sets up HHH in the corner.   Cactus does a cross-corner whip and HHH goes over the turnbuckle to the floor.   Out on the floor and Cactus hits HHH with the garbage can again.   Cactus gets on the apron and scales up to the second turnbuckle while HHH is holding the garbage can on the floor.   Cactus flies off with an elbow but lands on the garbage can.   Chyna grabs Cactus and whips him to the steel steps.   HHH grabs the garbage can as we go to a commercial break.   When we come back, both guys are in the ring and HHH is holding a mop.   HHH hits Cactus with the mophandle twice.   Cactus gets up and goes out to the apron while we see HHH hitting Cactus over the head with the garbage can from the commercial break.   HHH grabs Cactus' head and snaps his neck off the top rope, sending Cactus to the floor.  Chyna grabs Cactus and sets him up on the apron and Cactus gets to his feet while HHH is holding a chair in the ring.   HHH drops the chair and brings Cactus back into the ring by his head.   HHH grabs the chair and rams it into Cactus' midsection in the corner.   Both guys go out to the apron and HHH pushes Cactus into the ringpost a couple of times  He tries again and Cactus gives him a low blow kick.   HHH staggers off of the apron and pushes the garbage can away and Cactus comes off the apron with a sunset flip to the floor for a 2 count.   Both guys up and Cactus charges at HHH who sends him face first to the railing.   HHH charges at Cactus and Cactus backdrops him onto the ramp and follows with another "Bang! Bang!"  Chyna comes back with a chair to Cactus's head, but it has no effect on him!   Cactus confronts Chyna and grabs the chair.  They fight over it and Cactus pulls it away from her.   HHH sees what's going on and pushes Cactus who smacks into Chyna sending her into the steps, essentially sacrificing his bodyguard.   The referees attend to Chyna as Cactus and HHH both punch each other and Cactus wins that exchange, getting a 2 count off of it.   HHH turns it into a crucifix rollup on the ramp for 2.   Cactus grabs HHH by the hair and they start walking up the ramp until HHH hits a Backdrop Suplex on the ramp for 2.   HHH starts staggering up to the stage and gets his hands on a wastebasket and hits Cactus with it twice, getting a 2 count.  HHH then hits Cactus with a snow shovel.  HHH goes back through the curtain and Cactus follows but gets shoved back out onto the stage as the crowd chants, "Table! Table! Table!"   HHH does indeed pull out a table and set it up on the stage.   HHH signals for the Pedigree.   HHH gets Cactus on the table and goes for the Pedigree but Cactus gives him a low blow to a big pop.   Cactus then hits a pulling piledriver through the table for the pin!  Chyna recovers and tries to make the save but is too late.   ****, which is the highest rating I will EVER give a HHH match.
 

Great match here.  It introduced Cactus Jack and the Three Faces of Foley gimmick.   I imagine Mick probably laid out the match so that HHH wouldn't drag it down with his usual boring offense.   Recommended and you can watch it here.